I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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