Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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