He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
