Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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