i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
