allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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