I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't deserve a penis
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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