you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
