Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
