Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
