It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
