my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
