i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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