she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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