East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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