You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
