toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
