If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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