Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just tell him i said nine months
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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