I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
