I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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