It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize