sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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