One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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