PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
