he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
