what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
