oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
