Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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