so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
