and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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