those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
