Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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