4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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