I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
