He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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