Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it's like iHOP with fire
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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