I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
