yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
