You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
