In the future we'll all be gay
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
