I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
