Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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