Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
