After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize