Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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