Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this will be a night to untag.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
soo... how was my night?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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