Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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