Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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