in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
