You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
