I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
