Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
