The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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