You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
