Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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