hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You took a bar mat shot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
