Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
