Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
