Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
