I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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