we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
