are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
